Cereal
by bec7012
Summary: Why is our kitchen filled with Muggle Cereal? Warnings: Crack, OOC, No milk though.


**Cereal**

**Summary: **James and Remus try to deal with a kitchen filled with cereal and Sirius explains exactly why Shredded Wheat belongs to gryffindor

**Warnings:** Crack! Extreme OOCness! Lack of description! No milk though.

"James..?"

"Yes?"

"Why is our kitchen filled with Muggle cereal?"

"Sirius did the shopping."

"Ok. I can see how that makes sense in as much as anything involving Sirius makes sense."

"Yes. I ... er don't think we should let him shop again."

"No. Best if one of us does it."

"We could send Peter."

"Yeah. So the cereal?"

"I'm not sure. I think... No I don't even have a theory. Maybe he got attracted by the colourful packaging?"

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"I suppose it's cereal for lunch then?"

"Weetabix or um... Sugar puffs?"

"Got any cornflakes?"

"Over there... by the um... honey nut cheerios."

"Excellent. Don't suppose there is any chance we actually have milk is there?"

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Didn't think so."

"I wonder if there is a reason that its spread out the way it is."

"Probably."

"No look. It's very organised: there's four different piles this isn't just cereal... this is something else."

"You're right. It is very organised and even Sirius doesn't usually leave everything out like this..."

"Oh god. He's up to something isn't he..."

"Yeah I think he is. What do you think he's..."

"It's cereal. It could be anything."

"UNHAND THAT BOX YOU FIEND!"

"Sirius?"

"Don't move them! It took me four hours to sort the cereal!"

"To what?"

"Sort the cereal" The words came slowly as if he was explaining something blindingly obvious to someone incredibly stupid.

"Sort?" asked James slightly bemused, "As in... _sort?"_

"Exactly!"

"What?" asked Remus, "how have you sorted the cereal?"

"By house of course!"

Comprehesion dawned."By house?"

"Yes. Now put the Weetabix back with the other ravenclaws it really shouldn't be allowed to fraternise with Slytherin."

"Rice Crispies are Slytherin?" asked James, "But they seem so nice."

"They are evil cunning little sods."

Remus blinked, a memory flitting across his mind...

"Does this have something to do with when you trod in my breakfast last week?"

"I like rice crispies," argued James again.

"They are slytherin I say!"

"And Weetabix is ravenclaw?"

"Exactly. So put them back in their right places."

"But they're taking up the whole kitchen," said Remus as reasonably as one who knows that all reason has left his life can manage.

"So?" asked James gesturing one of the piles, "What house is that?"

"That my chum is hufflepuff. Cornflakes, Special K, and Oatmeal etcetra."

"Oatmeal isn't really a cereal," commented Remus

"It is definitely a hufflepuff though," added James thoughtfully, "I see Cornflakes too I mean they're dependable and honest definitely a hufflepuff."

"And," continued Sirius smiling slyly, "No one really ever wants special K unless there isn't anything else so that's definitely a hufflepuff."

"That's mean."

"True though."

"So where's Gryffindor?" asked James with interest, "no wait let me figure it out... that over there is ravenclaw what with weetabix. Why Ravenclaw?"

"I don't know it just always seems cleverer than it looks."

"Fair enough. Meusli too that has definite Ravenclaw tendencies... and that's slytherin with the evil rice crispies of doom...so that must be gryfindor."

"Indeed it is. Good strong breakfast foods all."

"Shredded wheat?" asked Remus finding himself slightly hypnotised by Sirius' theories, "what's so gryfindor about Shreaded wheat."

"Good strong cereal that," commented James, "good for your heart."

"It's always up for a challenge too: it practically begs you to try to eat three even though you know you never will..."

"I can eat three..."

"Lies! No one can eat three shredded wheat! It defies the laws of the universe!" declared Sirius rather dramatically

"Ah," added James rather cryptically, "But Remus here is no mere mortal perhaps his furry little problem gives him supernatural shredded wheat consuming abilities..."

"You're mad," sighed Remus half heartedly and helped himself to a bowl and some supposedly ravenclaw cheerios."Next time," he added thoughtfully, "Buy milk."

The end


End file.
